Casual Friday
by blackbananas
Summary: Snape, Lucius, and Voldemort meet for drinks and swap pictures of their Fanficinjected kids, like the proud fathers they are. WARNING: FULL OF CRACK.


**DISCLAIMER: I do not own Harry Potter. But I wish I owned Severus Snape. That'd be kinky. Heh. Shut up.**

It was a cloudy, dreary day in Hogsmeade. The weather was typical for the countryside, so no one generally took notice of this. The Hog's Head Tavern, at that moment, was sparsely populated with its usual number of spies, dealers and thieves. But that's not why the three men who were expected to arrive there chose the place. They honestly loved kids, but, honestly, one of them needed a place where they wouldn't be gawked at. It was for privacy issues.

The door opened, and a few people noticed their jovial entrance. Aberforth, the barkeeper, tried not to. Still, out of the corner of his eye, he noticed a well-kept platinum blonde, a less-well-kept black haired one, and a bald, slit-eyed man. Aberforth didn't pay attention to the papers much, so he didn't recognize the one who looked the oddest: the bald one. But he swore he had seen him somewhere...

The three were laughing and cracking jokes. Lucius picked a table, and they all sat wearily down at it. The grins on their faces remained.

"So, O Dark Lord, how've things been going with you?" It was only polite to address the eldest and the most powerful.

"Oh, things've been fine, fine!" The bald-headed man waved his hand in a dismissive manner. "And don't call me that! I've told you time and time again to call me 'Tom!'"

"Now, now, Lucius, you should have known better." The Potions Master knew how humble his boss was. "He likes to have an even footing, even if it's with you!"

The group laughed. "Oh, ho ho ho, is that so, Severus? Well, I might just start buying my potions ready made!" At this they laughed louder.

"Oh, now, even with your son attending the school he teaches at? Don't be headstrong, Lucius!" The old man put his head into his hand and grinned.

"It's not my _son_ I'm worried about. You know my daughter, Arwen Malfoy, is my pride and joy!"

"How could we not, Lucius? _My_ daughter, Kikyo, and Rayvenna Riddle are her best friends." Severus smiled blandly.

"Oh, indeed, he got you there, Lucius. That should deserve you buying us all a round!" The Dark Lord loved that joke.

The blond-haired one smiled and rolled his eyes. He didn't mind paying at all, for he wasn't greedy. "Alright then, gentlemen! The usual?"

"Of course! You know how anything else gives me headaches." Both of them at the table slumped back and clasped their foreheads dramatically.

"Right. Just a mo'." He brought back a firewhisky for himself, a cream soda for the Potions Master, and a gillywater with cherry flavor for the Dark Lord. Tom was known for never drinking anything unless it had the fruity flavoring in it. Upon seeing it, he remarked, "Two cherries this time, how nice!"

Severus was fishing for his wallet at the table. "You're not paying, it's my treat!" said Lucius.

"Oh now, don't be so jumpy, I was only looking for my photo of Kikyo." He set a photo of a small girl on the table. She looked extremely endearing.

Lucius had his photos out in an instant. "Hey, I"m not just going to let you brag!" The photo he set down was of a girl with sparkling blonde hair and a toothy grin. "Must've got Narcissa's looks. I can't take pictures like that!" He laughed good-naturedly.

"Well, I'm blowed. They're just adorable," their boss said, looking at them. ("Hear that, she does take after her mother," said Severus, before he dodged a quick swing.) "But I had special photos taken of Rayvenna. Have a look, chaps." He set three photos down, all of the tiny girl in very cute poses and wearing an audacious grin.

The other two pursed their lips comically and looked at each other. "We think that's unfair, you know! How could we stand up to that," Lucius whined.

"Now, now, no need to get your knickers all in a twist, these are headshots." Severus and Lucius raised their eyebrows. "My daughter works for a muggle acting company in the States."

"Well, don't _you_ spoil her much too much," Severus sniffed. "Those photos could blow anyone away!"

"This is just because Severus is jealous that he doesn't have some of his own," Lucius piped in. This time, he had to dodge a swing of his own. Everyone at the table exploded in laughter.

After a bit, the Dark Lord composed himself and said, "You know, I think I've been much too hard on Hogwarts. I _do_ want the best education for my daughter. How do you think they'd fancy a bit of gold for refurbishment?"

Severus considered this for a moment. "Actually, I think it'd be a grand idea! The school always needs more help."

"I'd donate too. Merlin knows I have too much gold lying around."

"You really think it'd be a good idea, chaps?" The old manhad an earnest look upon saying this.

"I think it'd be great, and the Headmaster would be thrilled!" Lucius said.

"Well, I certainly could do a lot more to get on the Headmaster's good side. And..." He moved his palms up and down, as if he were weighing the options. "I _could_ just donate it anonymously, if I _really_ didn't want to bother..."

"Yes, exactly."

"What's the harm in that?"

There was a silence at the table. Finally:

"You know, boys, I think I'll turn over a new leaf and do it! This old man needs some excitement in his life."

"Well, that's splendidly noble. I'll support you every step of the way," said Lucius.

"And I'll make sure the Headmaster finds it alright. I think he'd be quite kind to the idea, you know?"

"Can't imagine why he wouldn't, Severus. This is going to be great!"

The three began to plan what they would do, on that cold, Scottish morning in the dingy tavern.

**END OF CHAPTER**

**I might continue this, or I might just leave it as a one-shot. Give me input, please, I don't have enough to do in my life.**


End file.
